Ant & Grasshopper: Old Story, New Moral

based on an email from my sister Paula...

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. He has a small business that employs 10 bugs of various colors. He provides a living wage and provides as many benefits (health insurance, holidays, sick time) as his business can afford and still have money left to invest and grow his business (so that he can hire more people).

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. He thinks nothing of spending his welfare money on the newest car, the newest phone, the newest game system and is outraged that anyone could expect him to spend money on adequate housing or health insurance.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed as are his employees.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! Work hard, live within your means, save for a rainy day and your future.

MODERN (Democrats) VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. He has a small business that employs 10 bugs of various colors. He provides a living wage and provides as many benefits (health insurance, holidays, sick time) as his business can afford and still have money left to invest and grow his business (so that he can hire more people).

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. He thinks nothing of spending his welfare money on the newest car, the newest phone, the newest game system and is outraged that anyone could expect him to spend money on adequate housing or health insurance.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed as are his employees.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant and the other hard-working bugs should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food...

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight. Mrs. Obama says she has never been proud of the ant's country but likes the grasshopper's country better.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share of the grasshopper's needs (but not his own. The ant is too "rich".)

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and fined for laying off the green bugs he has employed because he can no longer afford the salaries, taxes and health insurance premiums for all, and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his business closes, all the bugs are unemployed, and the ant's home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead from over-consumption, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses under the debt created by self-serving legislation bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote in 2010.