Two Years On...

It is two years today that Noah was wounded. I wasn't going to write about it. It's "old news".

But then I watched a special report on ABC News "War on the Brain: Understanding TBIs" hosted by Bob Woodruff, himself recovering from Traumatic Brain Injury. I watched the original February 2007 Woodruff report on his recovery that featured these same soldiers as they recovered from TBI.

When I saw the dramatic recoveries of some of the soldiers who in February could hardly walk or speak and who are now walking, running and speaking almost without affect, I cried happy tears... happy tears for them, for their wives and for their families. And when I saw those soldiers who are recovering more slowly... or whose recovery is as good as it is going to be... and I witnessed the despair or the optimissim of the mothers and wives who have become the primary care givers, I cried tears of loss and of sadness... for all that was and all that may never be.

It brought all the feelings and emotions of that horrible night in August 2005 back in waves that seemed surprisingly fresh and raw despite the passage of time.

Even now I can recall with clarity the events and conversations of that night... I remember begging and pleading with God to please... please let our son live... they said serious spinal injury and I told God that we'd deal with everything that entailed later...

And this week as Noah and his wife settle in and do the "have to go [here]..." [VA] [DMV] [bank] [Vet Center] [college], the nightmares have returned in force... and the dreams seem more intense... response to the stress of the changes... the move... the transition... the loss of 1LT Edds... he checked in the LT at Battalion when he'd arrived shortly before this deployment...

But we all recognize that the date -- this date each year -- evokes powerful memories...

Now he's here... he's home... after a few years of trying as hard as he knew how to continue his military service... and trying to put this memory and many other memories in perspective (can there be perspective in war??) and suffering from the residue and remainder of his physical injuries and plagued by [possibly/probably TBI] and certainly by Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder... the war rages... here and there... but we so count ourselves among the lucky...

and as we shuffle and rush around and reorganize our lives to accomodate Noah and M... and await the arrival of their first child... and between the calls to the VA.... to pay offices at Fort Benning... and the Transportation office... and fill out paper work for the GI Bill... for Veterans' scholarships and benefits... applying for jobs... and starting college classes... as our lives are turned topsy-turvy... and the other day we spoke of the night Noah was wounded and the weeks and months that followed... and I remarked to Noah's wife about how we begged and pleaded with God to please... please let Noah live... and how I told God we'd deal with everything later... and she said, "Well, Mom... guess this all must be the "later"... [smile and hug]

So remember those who are still in the fight on the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan and other places in the world... and those home but who brought the battle with them... and those that bear the wounds and scars of war... and will for their lifetimes... and the families of those who serve, have served, will serve... and remember to help and support our troops and those who have served and carry the torch to finish the mission.