THANKSGIVING 2010

Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

My personal morning & evening prayer:

Thank you, God, for all of my blessings. Please keep all whom I love and cherish safe and warm.

Exploring Arizona: Williams and Wildlife Zoo/Aquarium

Have tickets to the Antiques Roadshow in Phoenix this weekend... taking Indian pottery, a lamp from the 1890's, some Currier & Ives prints (not valuable, but I want to learn how to tell how old prints are... and DH and I are treating ourselves to a weekend at a ritzy hotel for our anniversary... also seeing my dear brother while we're in the Big City (LOL).

Here are some pics from a recent excursion through the back country to Williams, AZ (Gateway to the Grand Canyon) (if you go, be sure to visit American Flyer Coffee Co. -- DELICIOUS coffee and really nice people!! ) and pics from a trip yesterday with Tom Terrific to the Wildlife World Zoo & Aquarium (Note to self: do not go to Phoenix for outdoor activities in July... 115 degrees... oh yeah -- it's a dry heat @ 8% humidity LOL)

you could say that...

[bad] weather on the red rocks...

came around a bend and this old boy was trotting along

where the deer & the [pronghorn] antelope play...

oh beautiful! for spacious skies

part of the Perkins Ranch

open range state... no fence between me & him... (not Perkins cattle btw)

tracked this dog across a wide open field...

who then sat and howled at us like a wolf!!

BBBIIIGGG fish

baby pygmy goat in the petting zoo

shark tank

fish

twin baby white tigers!!

touching horseshoe crabs & starfish!!

PTSD... a Parent's Perspective

As anyone who has read this blog for more than 30 days knows, our combat-wounded son also carries the invisible wounds of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Back in 2006, I was honored to have something I wrote included in Operation Homecoming: Iraq, Afghanistan & the Home Front. I had been invited to attend the launch of the book with other contributors at The Library of Congress in Washington, DC. Excited as I was, I didn't attend. I made a journey instead to a different destination after I received a call from Fort Benning that my son had been hospitalized for his worsening PTSD crisis. As I had before -- when Noah graduated Basic, when he graduated Airborne, when he deployed to Iraq, to Germany when he was wounded and when he was returned stateside -- I flew to offer encouragement and to do what I could. It's what a parent does... when they can.

We had been in constant contact with Noah in the 18 months from deployment and that point in 2006... In Noah's case, it took a lot of guts and a lot of asking for the help he knew he needed. He overcame the resistance of his unit NCO.. he overcame the stigma. In real words, he said, "I'm fucked up and I need help."

We have been there every step of the way. His dad is a Vietnam veteran and he and I have friends who fought the invisible war after their return, so we strongly encouraged him to seek help. We have been there through his treatment and his diligent attempts to stay in the Army... and his eventual medical discharge. We're still here with him.. and for him. It's what a parent does... when they can.

Through all of this, we have tracked his PTSD... the steps forward and the steps back. I have ranted, raved, blogged and asked the obvious questions about diagnosis, treatment and the stigma of PTSD. I have blogged (here and many, many more times) about the changes in our son... I have tried hard to tell everyone that combat-induced post-traumatic stress is a normal response to war and that it doesn't always rise to the level of a disorder but that if it messes with you and your relationships and your daily life, IT IS OK TO SEEK TREATMENT. You are not victims... and PTSD is as real as is cancer, tuberculosis, diabetes.

As for Noah, he has reached a plateau in his recovery; it has not been nor is it easy for him on a daily basis. Or for us.

PTSD is like -- no, it IS -- the bogeyman... behind every door, hiding in every shadow... the invisible monster that has stolen the smiles and maybe even a part of these soldiers' souls... and they fight every day to keep from losing more and trying to get that piece back. It's incredibly TOUGH for those veterans and HARD for their families... the nightmares that we cannot send away; the fitful sleep that we cannot ease; the anger that we cannot avoid or abate but that is not really about us; the inattention; the forgetfulness; the moodiness. There are days when he's having one of "those" days or he's in one of "those" moods that we cannot have a cogent conversation unless we are willing to agree with everything that comes out of his mouth... so some days we just don't have conversations. I joke that I gave birth to just one child named Noah, but we live with two of them -- and we're never sure which one will walk into a room.

We accept that all that can be done is being done... we know the who, what, where, when & why, but no matter what we do we cannot ever fully understand because.. well, BECAUSE. The only comparison to the difference between "know" and "understand" that I can relate to is childbirth. Everyone knows what it is. We know it's painful. We know it's more painful for some than others. However, if you haven't given birth, you can't understand. I hope that makes sense. That is not to say that non-sufferers cannot be empathetic and supportive. We know many who are encouraging and supportive to both Noah and to us. We don't tolerate condescending, but we know that when we see it.

In addition to the day to day moving forward with this bogeyman is dealing with all things that are Life. Noah does a lot of balancing... parenting a 19-month old, trying to find a job (no, O, there are STILL no jobs), attend school, work as a Reserve (part-time) firefighter, attend medical and counseling appointments... that can be -- and often is -- exhausting mentally and physically. Sometimes for us as well. We still see flashes of temper... we know he has restless (and some mostly sleepless) nights and nightmares. He has flashbacks which occasionally are intense.

I continue to read and research on the topic... but the amount of information can be overwhelming. Here is just the most recent Clinical Trauma Update from ONE organization:

This issue of CTU-Online contains 6 summaries:

Treatment
1. Meta-analysis suggests drugs are more effective than psychotherapy for treating combat-related PTSD: PTSD treatment research has made important advances over the years. One of the key questions remaining concerns the relative efficacy of drugs and psychotherapy. There have been very few direct comparisons. The best evidence comes from meta-analyses, which have tended to show larger effects for psychotherapy. Investigators at the University of Michigan recently conducted a meta-analysis of 24 studies to specifically compare the effect of the two modalities on combat-related PTSD.
Read more… [snip]

2. Neurobiological stress response may predict PTSD treatment outcome: A new study conducted by researchers at Mount Sinai School of Medicine and the Bronx VAMC examined how treatment for PTSD affects cortisol and other measures of the function of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical (HPA) system. Cortisol, which has been a particular focus of research, is produced to help regulate the stress response. Some researchers have even suggested that abnormalities in the HPA axis may increase vulnerability to the development of PTSD. But prior to the new study, there had little evidence about whether the HPA system predicts treatment response or is affected by treatment.
Read more… [snip]

3. Cognitive-behavioral therapy for PTSD improves patients’ sense of their physical health: Individuals with PTSD suffer more chronic health concerns and have a poorer perception of their physical health than individuals without PTSD. If PTSD is associated with poor health, it follows that treating PTSD could improve health, but in fact, there is little evidence that this is the case. Prior studies have found no effect of PTSD treatment on physical functioning, although the effect of treatment on symptoms has not been examined until now. Investigators in a new study assessed self-reported physical symptoms in 108 women with PTSD who were treated with one of two evidence-based treatments for PTSD, Cognitive-Processing Therapy and Prolonged Exposure.
Read more… [snip]

4. CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy] treatment for substance use and PTSD decreases PTSD, not substance use: An estimated 30-50% of individuals undergoing addiction treatment also have a lifetime diagnosis of PTSD. Several therapies developed to address co-occurring PTSD and substance abuse have been designed as stand-alone treatments. Now researchers at Dartmouth Medical School have developed a cognitive behavioral therapy intended to be integrated with ongoing addiction treatment.
Read more… [snip]

Comorbidity
5. New findings from the Millennium Cohort Study: Investigators recently took advantage of data available from a unique project underway in the Department of Defense, the Millennium Cohort Study. This is a longitudinal survey of a large sample of active-duty and Reserve/Guard personnel who were enrolled between 2001-2003 and will be followed for the next 21 years. One study examined how current and past PTSD relate to mental and physical functioning. The other examined whether how physical and mental functioning predicted PTSD several years later.
Read more… [snip]

6. Gender differences in potential mechanisms of PTSD and substance use comorbidity: Many individuals with PTSD also have a substance use disorder. The two problems are mutually reinforcing. Substance use for self-medication can actually exacerbate PTSD symptoms, creating a cycle that is difficult to break. Furthermore, substance abuse may complicate treatment. Thinking that emotion regulation might play a role in explaining the link between these two disorders, the authors of a new study examined difficulties controlling impulsive behavior when distressed and lack of emotional awareness and clarity in 132 men and 50 women admitted to an inpatient alcohol and drug treatment center in Washington, DC.
Read more… [snip]

If you're interested in this level of study, you can subscribe to this newsletter yourself:

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/publications/subscribe_ctu.html

And, of course, you can check out the "PTSD Resources" link on my right side bar...

And here's a few more..

Iraq War Clinician Guide, 2Ed.
Deployment Health Clinical Center/PTSD
Dept. of Veterans Affairs: National Center for PTSD
Iraq War Resources
PTSD Combat: Winning the War Within (Info Blog)

In our life -- in Noah's life -- it's harder some days than others... but we can see that Noah continues to move forward... and he deals with it (some days better than others heh.) I'm not sure that we always equate "moving forward" with "progress", but it's better than it's been but not as good as we hope it will be.

We once worried that we might not ever see our son smile again, but he does smile. There was a long spell when he couldn't laugh. Now he can laugh... maybe not as often as we'd like, but we know that his CAPACITY for life... and loving life have been restored. We have witnessed over these past few years a return of a measure of Noah's optimism... some days he doesn't see the glass as half-empty... and that's something.

IF you have PTS or PTSD, get help. It works. It can get better.

This Week from My Camera

Summer Monsoon Rains
(who would figure that you could live in a place where the population CHEERS when it rains??)

Double rainbow tonight

Tom Terrific... he gets better (and bigger!) every day!!

Gopher snake in the driveway... they eat rodents and aren't poisonous... but their coloring mimics the rattlesnake which is...

SOLDIERS HAVE PARENTS??

We are a military family. All three of our sons enlisted while they were single (unmarried) and many of "Our Guys" (soldiers we consider family) have also been single. As a result, I have from time to time done some complaining about how about half of Army soldiers are UNmarried but that "family" resources and information were principally for spouses -- parents left out of the loop. (I actually asked what was being done for the "other half" of the Army while participating in a blogger's roundtable that included the Secretary of the Army...)

While recently cruising the Army Home Page on Military OneSource, I was pleased to see the following prominently featured on the page:

New to the Army? Help Keep Your Parents in the Loop

If you’ve just joined the Army and your parents aren’t familiar with military life, keep them in the loop with these materials:

• Resources for Parents of Soldiers
• When Your Son or Daughter Goes Through Basic Combat Training

I don't know how long that's been up there and I'm sure the Army didn't need any prodding from parents... however it got there and however long it's been there, THANK YOU!!

The information under "When Your Son or Daughter..." is pretty basic (it's a starting point), but you should also seek out additional information from sites specific to the military installation/branch of service where your child is undergoing training.

The "Resources..." page provides links to official and unofficial web sites that you might, as a parent, find useful, but also be sure to check out blogs like ParentsZone.org and other military blogs ("Milblogs" -- you can find blogs by branch of service as well as those blogs by parents at www.milblogging.com).

As the parent of a soldier, you should become familiar with some of the other resource information contained on other Army and Dept. of Defense sites for future reference... such as the Army Well-Being site and the Military Homefront page.

I'd really like the Army and the other services to produce content specific to parents (or non-spousal family) with the idea that these people are usually remote (away) from their soldier's military installation and typically have no idea how to contact the installation or chain of command (or even who that might be) in an emergency... or what resources are available to their soldier/sailor/marine/airman/coastie or to the family member (be that a parent, aunt, uncle, sister or brother...) when faced with serious issues involving their child (for example, post-deployment issues). (And, yes, I know that there are those who actually joined the military to AVOID their parents... but every soldier has a next-of-kin somewhere -- that are not "in the loop" but should be!)

I did also find some parent-related information for the other services (some official, some unofficial):

for Parents of Marines
A Parent's Guide to the Marine Corps
USMC - Recruit Training

Marine Parents.com

For Navy Parents
Navy for Moms
Navy Dads


For Air Force Parents
Parents of the Enlisted

AF -- you could do better... information or links for parents could easily be added to AFCrossroads.

For Coast Guard Parents (nice job CG!!)


For National Guard Families

General informational links for all branches, Guard and Reserves at Today's Military and Military.com

There Really Is No Place Like Home

Arrived home Wednesday afternoon... a few hours later there was a high-pressure gas line explosion and fire very near our home (contractor setting guard rail posts punctured the line) and then the electrical power was shut off for the next 4 hours while firefighters fought the fire in 90 degree+ temps (Noah was working at a fire station on the other side of town.) In the meantime, traffic was re-routed around the fire through our narrow and winding little mountainside community as we recognized immediately that our entrance gate was on one side of the mishap and our emergency fire road exit on the other, so we (our community residents) graciously called authorities and offered the use of our private roads to the town... threw open the gates while police and public works vehicles escorted many, many hundreds of cars Pied Piper-style first one way through the development and then returned with vehicles going the other way. This continued well into the night and through the next day. Since we had no electric and no gas (and no breeze!), we and the neighbors all brought out lawn chairs and watched the parade go past!! People were very grateful to our community and many waved and many called out their thanks to us -- although many people wondered what we were doing out on the road in our lawn chairs!! Later Wednesday evening the fire was controlled and the electricity was restored although the damaged road remained closed most of Thursday... we are a group of "doers" here and not a bunch of whiners... no one got on television wondering who was going to take care of them, or pay them or GIVE them anything... There was a problem, we had the solution and got it done.

DH, son Evan (directing traffic in the picture above) with baby Tom in his arms, SSM, Tom, Geri, Jacky & El

All pics except the group pic above were taken by Jacky... the group pic was taken by a road worker in a brief lull in traffic.

Then to top off the day, I stubbed and broke one of my toes in the wee hours of Thursday morning (sigh).

The following images are from our last day on the road through New Mexico and to our home in Arizona.

Arizona is a Free Range state -- no fences required (in most areas) for livestock. This little colt ran in front of our car on a frontage road with his mother casually looking on... but we were watching him and he was not in any danger from our car...

THE NEW DR. L

PROUD JUST DOESN'T COVER IT.




and with Mr. Z

National Memorial Day Parade

There was a time in our history when parades were an opportunity to honor and celebrate something. Grandparents, children and grandchildren sat on the curbs in every town across America and waved their flags, saluted and cheered -- especially on our patriotic holidays -- Memorial Day, Independence Day, Veterans Day. Sadly -- very sadly -- that had not been the case for a number of years... especially the part about celebrating our military and our veterans... although I can safely say that is not the case in our town -- which openly, notoriously and without shame salutes, celebrates and thanks America's Heroes every chance it gets!!

This year I am spreading the word about The National Memorial Day Parade which will take place on Monday, May 25, 2009 at 2:00PM on Constitution Avenue between 7th and 17th streets NW, Washington, DC. The parade has been held every year since it was re-established in 2005 after a 70 year hiatus in our nation's capital.

It is the largest Memorial Day Celebration in America and will have more than 250,000 in attendance honoring those who have served and sacrificed. There will be marching bands, veterans units, and uniformed military personnel from around the country.

The parade will also feature a special tribute to the U.S. Navy, and include Navy vet and Oscar winner Ernest Borgnine, fellow actors and veterans' supporters Gary Sinise and Joe Mantegna, and music star Lee Greenwood. Also participating is Edith Shain, the nurse from the famous World War II “V-J Day in Times Square” kiss photograph. (How excited do you think she will be??)

For more information, visit http://www.nationalmemorialdayparade.com.

I hope you can be one of the many this Memorial Day who line the parade route in DC and salute America's Heroes who gave all for our Freedom. And if you can't make it to DC, I hope you will take the kids and grandkids -- and your neighbors and friends -- to the closest parade and cheer widely for those that gave all and for those that carry on.

x-posted at Milblogs

Out of the Darkness

Every 16 MINUTES in the United States, a parent grieves. Every 16 MINUTES, someone commits suicide and leaves behind those who do not understand.

This is Kristin and her younger brother Christopher. Of course, they grew up. They were very close. Christopher joined the US Navy and was serving as a Hospital Corpsman when at the age of 21, he committed suicide. He was my brother-in-law's nephew. The family has been deeply and irreversibly affected by Chris's suicide.

Kristin says

My brother Christopher served three years in the United States Navy as a Hospital Corpsman. On January 27th 2008, at only 21 years of age, he was able to take his life. The series of events that led to his death that night could’ve been prevented. He screamed for help and his cries went unheard. A child is supposed to outlive their parent, grow old with their siblings and one day have children of their own. Chris left us still just a child. Please help my family and I honor Chris’ memory and raise awareness for the prevention of suicide.

The Out of the Darkness Overnight Experience is an 18-mile walk over the course of one night, from sunset to sunrise. Net proceeds benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, funding research, education, and awareness programs – both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by suicide.

While Kristin has reached her original (modest) monetary goal, I ask that you consider donating to Kristin's efforts to not only honor her brother, but to honor all those in our military who have died by their own hand in the hope that this money and the efforts to raise awareness and further education and efforts at suicide prevention will save lives. And help Kristin and her family heal.

Kristin's Pledge page is HERE.

Walking in a....