The Silence is Maddening
After having "at will" access to our son for the past few weeks while he was home on leave, and having had a number of calls and instant messages over the past week since his departure, the silence of yesterday and today is maddening. I had an IM from him very late Friday night (early Saturday for him) and he said it looked like he would not be heading back to his camp for a few days... that although there were 8 other soldiers waiting in Kuwait for transport to the AO, they were waiting for a few more to arrive before they departed. They had already discovered that their weapons had been retrieved and already knew that they were heading directly back to the new camp.
But no call or IM yesterday, and none so far today... and I glumly realize that we're back to the waiting game. Of course, I also haven't heard from any of "my Guys" already at the camp in Iraq since Friday, either... so I'm worrying on two fronts. I will say that the joy that can be communicated in IMs is actually pretty amazing... when I told V. that we had sent many boxes of things to him and R. and M. I could read the joy... He said (and I quote)
soldier's mom: hi v! dad and I sent boxes yesterday full of stuff to you, R*** & M*** (and [son], of course)... cigs, laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, deodorant, razor blades, etc., etc.... and will send more .... sure sorry you guys have such a crappy camp but we'll try and make it a little better
soldier: mom you are so AWESOME!!!!
soldier's mom: well, love is a pretty powerful motivator...:-D
and I sent an urgent email to all of the family and [son]'s friends telling them to get their butts in gear and send more ... so who knows what you'll see?:-D
and if that's not enough, I'm sure there are a few bloggers on the internet that would put the word out there so that you all have whatever you need :-D
soldier: mom me and the guys (including [son]) owe you so f***ing big (sorry ma)
soldier's mom: you are paying me right now... just doing what you do and staying safe...
And what I hate hearing (but would rather hear something than nothing)
soldier: well trying to stay safe
soldier's mom: is it bad? [so, ok, I can't help myself... I have to ask]
soldier: nah. not usually.
Great. Not usually. And keep in mind "bad" is a relative term -- it never will have the same definition for a mom as for a soldier (sigh).
So, I'll keep busy... I'll listen for the "moooo" or the "ringggggggg" that tells me one or more of my sons is online... and I'll pray for the ring of the phone any time night or day... and I'll blog some of my frustrationss away... but I'll never get used to the silence.
Copyright 2005 All rights reserved.
posted by Some Soldier's Mom @ 11:54 AM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
"The Sound of Silence"--used to think that was just a catchy song, but after saying goodbye to my hubby one too many times, I realize there actually IS a sound to silence.
It's like walking underwater for a few weeks...where stuff goes on around you, but you feel like there is this big vacuum all around you where you are there, but not quite...I can relate.
I'm glad you were able to hear from him...even the not-so-comforting things. I'll continue to pray for all of you.
I know just how you feel. I did not hear from my son for almost two days, but at 0200 this morning when i heard that door open up on the im, i was wide awake, and could not stop pecking away at the keyboard. Nothing better than a phone call , but that instant messenger will just have to do for us. I am like you, I sit, and I wait, and I pray daily, and when I don't see him and another buddy online, I then start to worry, because between the two of them, I can just about chat with one of them almost anytime, except for when they shut the internet off due to a casualty.
My mom and I are getting some packages together now to send via snail mail to your guys. My son still needs nothing, so I am actualy having a little fun again getting packages together for them. Thanks for the name and addresses, they will be on their way this week to your guys.
Stacy -- "My Guys" are now your guys!! Can never have enough Mommas looking after you!! You are the BEST!
I hate the silence. I get up every morning at 4:30 as my normal routine, but now the first thing I do is turn on the computer and look for Sprout's evening IM. Your blog is helping me prepare for his inevitable march to war. Thanks.
We went through another round of silence the last couple of days, until it was finally broken (again) this morning. It's a roller coaster of ups and downs the career families tell me to get used to. I don't know that I ever will, or that I ever want to.
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