color: SOME SOLDIER'S MOM: Anticipation....

Friday, December 30, 2005

Anticipation....

I know it will sound odd to some people (but perfectly normal to others), but I'm feeling a bit down about the Guys coming home (which is really soon... days.) I'm not down because they're coming home, but because I'm not going to be there to see it... for any number of reasons. Won't be there to hug My Guys.




First, it's nearly impossible to know when the Guys will be home since families are getting little advance warning. Families get "a date" -- which is really a time frame of about a week or so of the target for them to leave Iraq and head over to Kuwait... where they wait for availability of transport... anywhere from one to four days.





Families back here get 12 to 24 hours notice when their soldier gets on the plane. For those that live near the base, that's fine. But for families much further away -- it's a problem.


Then there's the expense: Airfare. Hotel. Car rental. Meals.
And they won't all be coming back together. A few guys from unit A, some from unit B... throw in a few from unit C, D, E... you get the picture. Finally, once they're back at their base, the Guys get an initial 48 hour pass, but then they have to get back to work (ok, half days!) for the next few weeks until the big block leave (a month off!)
Don't get me wrong -- if Noah were coming home from Iraq, NOTHING -- absolutely nothing -- would keep me from that airfield. I'd sleep in that rental car. I'd even camp out (this from a woman who thinks "roughing it" is a hotel without room service.) But our son's already back on US soil and the rest of my Guys told me not to come because they were going to [describing what they planned for those 48 hours involving booze and babes...] and they didn't want me "to see them that way"... [amid great laughter -- something about tainting the all-American Hero image they want me to have intact and more laughing.] Some will come visiting during their vacation. So that's what we agreed... but I'm feeling a little let down as the day to their return gets closer. After all, I have spent much of their deployment fantasizing what the Homecoming would be like... so it's a bit sad that it's not happening that way.
Oh, Noah will be at the airfield -- since none of Our Guys' families will be there to greet them -- Noah will be their official welcoming committee and he promised to take his camera and send me pictures to post up of the happy arrivals... and he'll have his cell phone and the Guys promised to call as soon as they were BOTG (that's boots on the ground.) Still, it won't be the same.
I wonder if I will get the same sense of "closure"? After all, I have been here chronicling the entire deployment and it seems somehow unnatural to not be there for the final chapter. Like reading a novel all the way through but skipping the last chapter to read the epilogue.
But don't worry about me. I just know I'll get over it the minute I hear that "Hey, Ma! There's somebody here that wants to talk to you..."
***********************
We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.
Anticipation, anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
Lyrics and Music: Carly Simon
Copyright 2005. All rights reserved.

9 Comments:

At 12/30/2005 5:28 AM , Blogger ~K said...

I am sorry you wont be there for the BOTG celebration. The let down is not so fun.
I am sure they don't want to destroy your opinion of them when they are "CELEBRATING".....lol
But I can imagine the reception they are going to recieve from you once you get to finally hold them in your arms.
Please post lots of pics and let them know
We here in blog land appreciate the dedication they have given to this fine land. Thank you's are just not enough to express the love in our heart.

 
At 12/30/2005 5:59 AM , Blogger Stacy said...

I sure wish we could all me there. It's a day that us moms will never forget. The guys are right, you don't want to see them all boozed up. LOL...Wait on that vacation and spoil the hell out of them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 
At 12/30/2005 8:16 AM , Blogger Melinda said...

When vacation time comes, let us know so we can send some belated welcome home goodies your way to hand out when they arrive. :)

I'm so excited for them!

 
At 12/30/2005 10:07 AM , Blogger yankeemom said...

I would be there too in the rented car if it was my soldier coming home. I too prefer room service...
How wonderful Noah will be their Welcome Home! Have him tell them all a Big Thank You from this Mom, please! They become all our babies, don't they ~

 
At 12/30/2005 1:04 PM , Blogger Karen said...

I only discovered this site 2 days ago - you are amazing. You have talked about and stated things that I thought only I could feel - you have given me my sanity back. My beautiful soldier son will step foot back on this good ole USA soil on January 2nd at Ft Stewart GA. Thank god. For all the reasons you stated, neither will I be able to attend. It isnt right. How can this be? He will have his girlfriend there when he arrives. I will be there a couple of days later. But I can maybe count on one hand the number of times I have missed any significant thing he has ever done. I just wanted you to know that your way with words, the thoughts you have put down to share with us - I feel you pulled them straight from my heart and mind. Thank you for expressing the emotions so many of of feel - from "Another Soldier's Mother" - Karen

 
At 12/30/2005 1:19 PM , Anonymous Agnieszka O. said...

I'm happy that they are coming home.
One of "my" soldiers got KIA on Dec. 28 in Afghanistan. He left wife and one year old son. He was an amazing person who greatly cared for Afghani children.
I'm crushed. Sorry for posting this, but I'm not quite sure what to do with my emotions...

 
At 12/30/2005 6:18 PM , Blogger Call Me Grandma said...

I saw on the news were some guys from the 3rd ID came home. I was wondering if it was any of ours.

 
At 12/30/2005 9:38 PM , Blogger Crazy Politico said...

When I left sea duty for the first time I had that same type of feeling. I was standing outside my office (on shore) having a smoke, and watched the ship I'd been with for 4 years leave for a 6 month deployment.

I was miserable for most of that day, thinking of the guys I'd worked with getting ready for the deployment, the places they'd go, things they'd see. Then that night I got home to my kids and realized it was okay.

It is a strange feeling though, I understand how you feel.

 
At 12/31/2005 10:13 AM , Blogger Wayne's Mom said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who is wrestling with 'what to do now.' Wayne came home last week, and although he hasn't physically been here to our house in Arkansas, he is in the states, relaxing in Louisiana with his dad who lives 15 minutes from Lauren's house.

We did get to join other families who welcomed home 268 soldiers at one time on the 22nd, but you're right, I wish we could have had them all in the same place at the same time.

Thanks SO much for your blogging all year. You've been a great source of comfort and encouragement to my family and to me.

 

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