Name Removed to Protect the Guilty

I get email. Most emails are from people asking for information (where to send cards and gifts to soldiers), asking me to participate in surveys or projects (some “yes”, some, “no”). I get emails from parents who tell me that my thoughts are their thoughts… these thoughts of having our children at war. But I can’t tell you how distressed I was to receive this one:

Re: I Don’t Share Your Views

I don't understand why this country is SO war hungry? YOU obviously have never been in war, I HAVE! These people volunteering are NOT avenging 9/11, they're simply fighting a war Bush engineered against Iraq, to get even for Sadamm [sic] trying to have his "Daddy" assassinated! I DO NOT SUPPORT OUR TROOPS! My step-son volunteered for the army behind our backs, and he's been dis-owned! (he's in Iraq now and I hope he catches the bullet he signed up for) When is this country going to learn from history? Was Sadamm bad? Of course, but who appointed us the world's policeman? He had NOTHING to do with 9/11. I hear Bush has [sic] still has the Mars Rover searching for those WMD!

All we're doing is continuing the violence and hatred! When are we going to learn Peace is the answer? Iraq was NO threat to us at all! This was the wrong war that we started and history will not forget!

Mark H (name removed to protect the guilty)
Wounded Viet-Nam Vet
(I had no choice!)

Of course, my first inclination was to respond with something smarta$$ like, “No wonder he joined the Army with a stepfather like you.” Or “I sense anger there.” Or “Sounds like a control issue.”

But I just couldn’t. The part where he wishes harm to his stepson was so overwhelmingly horrific… repulsive… sad. It made me gasp when I first read it. The DH was incredulous.

When our children are still under your control (i.e., before age 18), when they want to make choices you don't agree with, you do your best to explain why that’s not a good idea but you also just get to say, “Nope. Not happening.” When each of our sons came to tell us that they wanted to join the military, we asked questions, we discussed the pros and cons. We let them make the decision and we support them 100% in their choices (in these cases, we agreed with their choices.) We are incredibly proud of each of our children.

As parents of now-adult children, we have been there when they were making choices that made us cringe or want to scream or erupt in anger: “You did WHHAATTTT????” But I cannot imagine ever wishing ill on any of our children simply because they did something we didn’t agree with. In fact, in those situations, you want the decision to be right… to work out… you want to be wrong (if even just that once) because you want to spare your child from the pain or fallout if it turns out as badly as you imagine it might.

If your child mentions his or her intentions before they make it final, you do your best to talk reason to them. Sometimes there is no talking to them; their minds are already made up and you might say, “OK. Just remember that adult decisions have adult consequences.” Even in their worst decisions, you may be angry (how could they be that unintelligent?) However, it has always been our intention to “be there” for our children -- good or bad -- to be supportive of them whether we agree with their choices or not (well, as best we can). That’s our job as parents. And I try to remind myself that they all have to make choices and mistakes for themselves (just as we did) because that’s how they learn... most of life's larger lessons cannot be transferred via genetics nor osmosis.

But to wish harm on a child you [allegedly] love and have helped raise and wanted all the good that life has to give?? Creeps me out.

So, Mark, here’s my response:

I am not pro‑war. I am as anti‑war as they come as I have skin in that game. In this case, I am pro-Victory.

No, I have never physically been to war, but I have sent a child to war... and the veterans I have spoken with (including both my husband and a 32 year career Army officer) say that sending their children to war was -- is -- the hardest thing they have ever done). I know it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I think sending him the second time will be harder still. If I had my way, no child anywhere in the world would ever have to go to war again. Ever. Anywhere. (And it's perhaps the strongest reason for staying until the job is done in Iraq and Afganistan... so our children and their children NEVER have to go back.)

Not everyone who joins the military believes that they are avenging anything, but all believe that they are protecting this country and the people who live here. Including you.

As you say, so say I: I don’t agree with your views (on the war).

The fact that your (step)son volunteered for the Army against your objections tells me that this young man has strong convictions and beliefs and was willing to “put his money where his mouth is”. You should be desperately proud of that young man -- even if you do not agree with his beliefs or his choice. (I’m proud of him.)

“When are we going to learn Peace is the answer?“ When people are no longer trying to kill us, Mark. When there is no more genocide in the world. When people no longer war in the name of religion or ethnicity.

I’m not an overly-religious person, but I do know that prayer works, so I will pray for your stepson even though I do not even know his name. I will pray for his safety and for strength and courage for him and his brothers. He needs someone in his corner - and my friends and I will be there for him.

And I will pray for you, Mark. I will pray that you find some peace. I will pray that you will love your (step)son and find pride in his selfless service to his country.

And I will pray that your wife never finds out what you have wished for her son. (‘cause I know what I’d do if it was me...)

Copyright Some Soldier's Mom 2006. All rights reserved.

HOLIDAY PACKAGES FOR SOLDIERS

2008 Information HERE

I noticed from my sitemeter that lots of people are searching for information on things to send soldiers for the holidays, so I'm bumping this up from last year...

Each year the United States Post Office (USPS) publishes a guideline for those shipping items to APO/FPO addresses at Christmas time. The military mail system is pushed to capacity during the holidays, so you should try to mail by the dates indicated -- but don't let that stop you from sending SOMETHING. Updated mailing dates can be found HERE.

Better hurry -- Dec. 4 is the date set for APO/Zips in 093 and the others are Dec. 11 (Express mail is a little later... but why risk the gifts not getting there in time?).

Now for those gift sugestions:

HOLIDAY PACKAGES FOR SOLDIERS

We all look forward to the holidays. We look forward to the comfort and happiness and nostalgia that the holidays bring and spending the time with our families. Imagine being thousands of miles away and having that day be like every other day... But you can make a difference to our soldiers...

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First let me say that if you do not know a soldier or marine or if putting together a package is something you're not comfortable with, there are a number of organizations that are making every effort to ensure that No Soldier Goes Unloved... and they could use a helping hand by means of donations, especially the wonderful Soldiers Angels Holiday Spirit for Heroes. You can give money or send Christmas stockings to be stuffed, or donations of goods to be used for stocking stuffers...

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For those looking for suggestions on things to send, here's a list -- certainly not comprehensive... use your imaginations -- if it's fun for you, it will be fun for soldiers and marines, sailors & airmen!

Christmas Stockings.
- Individual packets of hot chocolate, cider or hot soup mix…
- Candy (bite sized, individually wrapped, all kinds)
- AT&T Phone Cards

- Hand held games (battery games with batteries, please)
- Small puzzle books
- Small, signed Holiday cards from you and your families (include your name and address!)
- Cigarettes (no lectures, please. I don't smoke, but most soldiers we know do)
- Cigars (good ones!)
- Books (current titles are greatly appreciated
- Magazines (cars, trucks, men's health, exercise, business, computing...)
- Microwave food items (popcorn, all-in-one pan microwave deserts, heat & eat soups, etc.)
- Cereal bars
- Granola Bars
- Home baked goods (pack brownies and cakes in bread slices or package in tins and wrap in plastic wrap
- Army & Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES) Gift Cards
- Pre-paid gift cards or gift certificates from American Express, Visa, Amazon.com, or from specific stores - Best Buy, Staples, Barnes & Noble, Circuit City, etc.) These soldiers have a range of things they need or want over the course of their deployments...

Holiday decorations. Look around your homes and see your most cherished reminders of the holidays... and replicate those for our troops.
- Garland
- Shatterproof ornaments
- Tinsel
- Lights (small wattage)
- Small artificial trees

Cold weather items (it's cool there now -- Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, Germany -- and getting colder).
- Stocking caps (black only)
- Long sleeve t-shirts -- (M, L or XL) but must be Army brown... Under Armour is preferred but also (less pricey) Dri-Release shirts (Soffee, Anvil, etc.) (but good luck finding them in brown). You can also order t-shirts and other deployment items at AAFES (click on the "Gift from the Homefront" icon in the right column!)

- Gloves (tactical gloves are preferred... which you can also find online or at gun stores or military or police supply stores)

- Lightweight fleece blankets.

DVDs, Music CDs... new releases are greatly coveted... and believe me, they pass them around and trade them so one DVD or one CD makes its way to a lot of soldiers...

Footballs, baseballs, baseball gloves, soccer balls, volleyballs...

Holiday Cards that they can send to friends and families back home (they do not need postage!)

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Now for some practical suggestions:

Use FLAT RATE BOXES from the US Postal Service. $8.10 no matter how heavy you make the boxes (don't use this if you're sending lightweight things -- but if you use these Flat Rate boxes stuff 'em as heavy as you can and get your money's worth!!)!

Mail Early!!

Be aware that soldiers have a limit on the amount of "stuff" they can bring back so hold off sending priceless heirlooms and bulky items if your soldier is redeploying soon.

RESTRICTIONS ON CONTENTS: If you are sending to Iraq or Afghanistan, DO NOT SEND ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: obscene articles such as prints, paintings, cards, films, videotapes, etc.; pork or pork by-products; alcoholic beverages; any matter depicting nude or seminude persons, pornographic or sexual items; or unauthorized political materials.

If contraband is found in a package, the entire contents may not be delivered!

SHOW YOU CARE AND DO JUST ONE THING FOR OUR TROOPS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON...
JUST ONE THING...

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We Are Very Thankful

Take a look around you... remember to be thankful for those you have and what you have -- especially your freedoms. Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving (and safe travel to those of you traveling!)

We have much to be thankful for this year...

I am thankful for my dear husband who loves me unconditionally, who thinks I am beautiful, smart, witty, funny without any evidence to support those ideas... who is my rock... and practices and lives "love, honor, cherish" every single day.... and whom I have always loved and will always love, honor and cherish.

For our children J&G (and for our new, sweet granddaughters Ashley & Avery), E, H&J, and Noah (& M) who are self-sufficient, loving, happy adult-type people who gave us grey hair and wrinkles and aged us way too fast... and who make us smile and laugh and beam with pride and make life worth living every day. We are especially grateful for the return of our youngest son from the battlefields of Iraq just slightly worse for wear and thankful that his injuries (still) continue to heal... And for our many sons (Our Guys!) whom we welcomed home earlier this year with love and tears of happiness... And we are heartily thankful for the doctors, nurses, medics and case managers who give 110% to all of our wounded military on the battlefield, in the combat hospitals, the medevac flights, and the hospitals here and abroad. We are thankful to those people and organizations that support our troops on and off the battlefield -- Soldiers' Angels, Sew Much Comfort, Fisher House...

For the love we have for and receive from our siblings and sibling in laws - Tom, Laura, Fred, Dick, Michele, Karen, Mark, Linda, Bob, Paula, Mary, and Dan and our nieces and nephews... Megan, Justin, Michelle, Amanda, Todd, Stephanie, Steve, Kelly, Heather, Benjamin, Ashley, Willie, Heather, Craig, Christopher, Timothy, Erika, Kyle, Alex... and our grandnieces and grandnephews Madison, Tyler, Mackenzie and Brett and Landon... who give meaning to the term "family".

For our many friends new and old who share their lives and love and families with us even when there are many miles between us. And for new friends in foreign lands who rushed to help us and our son and then reached out their hands in friendship to comfort and aid us and to whom we are forever indebted and look forward to seeing again soon. For new friends who share a bond via the internet that is a wonder of the spirit... And for friends far and wide who joined in prayer in our hour of need and who proved that prayer is more powerful than medicine (or at least a key ingredient!) and who remain our friends today.

For our beautiful home... for the food we eat... for our good health... for the love and devotion of our pets... for the wonders of Nature He has placed at our doorstep.

But this year -- as in every year -- we are especially and eternally grateful for our many Freedoms and for the men and women who serve in our military around the world protecting our Freedoms and our families and our way of life from those that seek to destroy it.

Dear Soldiers, Airmen, Marines and Sailors: We THANK YOU all. You are in our thoughts and prayers this Thanksgiving Day and every day.

Wishing each of you and all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Copyright Some Soldier's Mom 2006. All rights reserved.

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I am Thankful:

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,

BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,

AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,

BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME

AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES

BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,

NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,

WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,

AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING

AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

AND FINALLY, FOR THE SOLDIERS DEPLOYED ALL OVER THE WORLD

BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AND MINE CAN SLEEP PEACEFULLY TONIGHT.

I am not ready. I will never be ready....

IMMEDIATE RELEASE
No. 1169-06 November 17, 2006

DoD Announces Units for Next Operation Iraqi Freedom Rotation

The Department of Defense announced today the first of the major units scheduled to deploy as part of the next Operation Iraqi Freedom rotation. This announcement involves one Army division headquarters and five Army combat brigades consisting of approximately 20,000 service members. The scheduled rotation for the forces identified in this announcement will begin in early 2007.

Force levels in Iraq continue to be conditions-based, and are determined based on the recommendations of military commanders in Iraq and in consultation with the Iraqi government. U.S. force rotations will be tailored based upon changes in the security situation. Iraqi security forces continue to develop capability and assume responsibility for security in Iraq.

This rotation continues the U.S. commitment to the stability and security of Iraq, yet is flexible and adaptable in order to meet the evolving requirements for the mission.

For Operation Iraqi Freedom, the major units announced today are:

3rd Infantry Division Headquarters, Fort Stewart, Ga.
4th Brigade, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Ks.
4th Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wa.
3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga.
1st Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C
173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy

The department also alerted approximately 27,000 active duty and 10,000 reserve component troops in combat support and combat service support units smaller than brigade-size elements for deployment beginning in 2007.

DoD will continue to announce major unit deployments as they are identified and those units are alerted. The individual services will announce the smaller, supporting units for this rotation.

I am not ready. I will never be ready. I am a soldier's mom -- just some soldier's mom -- but I am not ready.

Exposed: The Extremist Agenda

I am not a regular watcher of CNN... but I do try to catch Glenn Beck. Tonight, Glenn is airing a special, "Exposed: The Extremist Agenda". Glenn will be showing video and other information from the Arab media... If you want to see the truth about what the extremists think (surprise: it's not "let's sit down and talk this out")

I understand that it is riveting and revolting... (but no gore or blood).

The program airs at 7PM (ET), and replays at 9PM and midnight (ET).

Home is the Sailor, Home From Sea

Happy Veterans Day and a big Thank you to all who have served and those who serve us still.

Welcome Home, J!!!

Bravo Zulu, Son!!

Home is the sailor, home from sea:
Her far-borne canvas furled
The ship pours shining on the quay
The plunder of the world.

Home is the hunter from the hill:
Fast in the boundless snare
All flesh lies taken at his will
And every fowl of air.

'Tis evening on the moorland free,
The starlit wave is still:
Home is the sailor from the sea,
The hunter from the hill.

--A.E. Housman (1859-1936)

He's Home from the sea... details HERE and HERE

Sign the Healthcare for Our Heroes petition today

I have written a number of times about my family's and friends' connection to the military: My Dad was Airborne... my husband was career Navy... our oldest and youngest sons are active Navy and Army, respectively, the third son was Navy, a sister was a Marine... a nephew is active Air Force... a high school chum who was career Coast Guard... one that was Army and a few that were Navy, our neighbor on one side is a Navy vet (a corpsman from Korea), and our neighbor two doors down the other side has a son-in-law in the Marines. Through this blog and other family support sites, we now have many more dear friends that are current or veteran military.

We have been fortunate given the number in our family "circle" that have served or are serving. My Dad lost his left arm above the elbow at the end of WWII. Those of you that are regulars will remember the terrifying night we got the "your son has been wounded by an IED" and the weeks and months that followed. These men and women -- and their families -- have served and do serve this Nation well.

More than 2,000 brave men and women have lost their lives in the war on terror and over 20,000 have been wounded. This is a sobering reminder of the risks our soldiers face every day and the tremendous sacrifices they make for our country. Despite these great sacrifices, Congress recently tried to slash the budget for the VA’s traumatic brain injury care centers so many of our wounded troops are counting on. And there are insufficient resources for the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of veterans and soldiers that do need or will need mental health services for post-traumatic stress and other mental health needs.

Our veterans should not have to fight for the high quality healthcare they’ve earned.

Congress needs to know that anything short of fully funded healthcare and benefits for our veterans is unacceptable. Especially when VA claims backlogs have reached a record high of over 800,000! Those claims represent hundreds of thousands of veterans and their families who are waiting for the healthcare and benefits they need to survive. These are real people who did their duty for our country. But, unfortunately, the country is not holding up its end of the bargain… We owe them a debt that can never be re-paid in full... but there is something that you can do.

The VFW has launched Healthcare for Our Heroes, a month-long Veterans Day campaign to demand full funding of veterans healthcare and benefits. Join the campaign today by signing the Healthcare for Our Heroes Petition to Congress and help the VFW reach their goal of gathering 20,000 signatures to deliver to Congress by Veteran’s Day.

Let us honor the men and women who’ve served our country by calling on Congress to fully fund healthcare and benefits for our veterans.

Sign the Healthcare for Our Heroes petition today.

VA Urges Veterans to Wear Medals on Veterans Day

The Honorable R. James Nicholson, Secretary of Veterans Affairs, and leaders of major veterans organizations called on America's veterans to help kindle a new spark of patriotism on Veterans Day by wearing the medals they earned during military service.

"We are announcing a Veterans Pride Initiative to remind Americans of the pride and honor in the hearts of those who have served," Nicholson said. "We expect Americans will see our decorated heroes unite in spirit at ceremonies, in parades and elsewhere as a compelling symbol of courage and sacrifice on Veterans Day, the day we set aside to thank those who served and safeguarded our national security."

For information about the campaign and how to display and/or replace medals, please visit the VA Web page.

Nicholson, in speaking about a visit to Australia for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps Day said,

One of the things that stood out during the day-long ceremonies was how all of the veterans and surviving family members wore their medals and campaign ribbons. It focused public pride and attention on those veterans as individuals with personal histories of service and sacrifice for the common good.

That is why I am calling on America's veterans to wear their military medals this Veterans Day, November 11, 2006. Wearing their medals will demonstrate the deep pride our veterans have in their military service and bring Veterans Day home to all American citizens.

Veterans, wear your pride on your left side this Veterans Day! Let America know who you are and what you did for freedom!!

PASS THE WORD!

HARD CORE: WOMEN'S REFLECTIONS ON IRAQ: A Performance

Back in August, I was contacted by playwright Emily Bauer who invited me to participate in a project giving voice to a variety of women’s views on the war. The project had a working title of “Women and War”.

The goal of the project was to create a play/performance that tells the stories of those involved with the Iraq conflict. The members of the project felt that even though they heard a little about Iraq, they really didn't know what happens there, how it affects families, spouses and members of the military.

They decided that they would gather stories through interviews, emails, and blogs -- without a political agenda in presenting the stories. The only goal was to present a variety of voices on the subject. -- specifically how the war affected women who have been/are deployed, in the military, considering the military or those who have relatives and/or spouses there. It wasn’t that they weren’t interested in men's voices, but the writers wanted to discuss issues that faced women specifically.

I have read the script and find it to be a fairly balanced discussion of many women’s’ views of the war -- mine among them. I'm not in the play, but DH and I are hoping to sort out our suddenly busy schedules, make the drive and take in a performance (I'm really quite curious to see the actress who is playing me... and they are using my name in the part...)

The piece -- now titled "HARD CORE: WOMEN'S REFLECTIONS ON IRAQ" -- is being performed in Fullerton, CA at the Hunger Artists Theatre Company on November 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, and 19.

I share Emily’s hope that the project will help to share stories of what is happening in Iraq.

If you're in the Fullerton area, I hope you'll take the opportunity to go see this work. And Emily -- thank you for the opportunity to participate in this wonderful project!