I'm Really Missing Him
I’m really missing my son today. I have missed him every minute he has been away from the day he left for basic. But then I knew I would see him ½ way through for Family Weekend. Again for Going Blue (graduation.) He had leave at Christmas. Then I was there for Airborne graduation. Next, I drove his car the 1,100 miles from New York to his base. Then he had leave in the summer. Then leave at Christmas. So in his first year in the Army, we got to spend time together often. It was like he was away at college. Only with weapons.
But since he deployed, it’s a deeper missing. It’s a steady ache that never goes away. I think of him all the time – calculating the time in Iraq and wondering what he’s doing at that moment. Occasionally since he deployed, my missing him has spiked from time to time, although most times I can bring myself around and regain a positive attitude. Not sure what brought this on, but I have been near tears a few times today just thinking about him. Today I just miss him SO MUCH. I miss being able to call him up and ask how he’s doing. I miss not being able to plan the next time we’ll be together. I miss not being able to sit down to dinner with him. Or having him here to say, “What’s for dinner, Ma?” I miss telling him to drive safe and be home by a certain time. I miss his, “Yeah, ok.” I miss him striking a Mr. Universe pose when I catch him wrapped in a towel fresh from the shower and raiding the fridge. I miss sitting watching baseball with him. I miss being able to hug him. I miss being able to tell him, “I love you, son” whenever the urge comes over me. I miss his smile. I really miss his laugh. Really miss that laugh...
If you have a child in your home, please call out right now, “I love you!” Better yet, get up and give each of them a hug. Give them one for me.
But since he deployed, it’s a deeper missing. It’s a steady ache that never goes away. I think of him all the time – calculating the time in Iraq and wondering what he’s doing at that moment. Occasionally since he deployed, my missing him has spiked from time to time, although most times I can bring myself around and regain a positive attitude. Not sure what brought this on, but I have been near tears a few times today just thinking about him. Today I just miss him SO MUCH. I miss being able to call him up and ask how he’s doing. I miss not being able to plan the next time we’ll be together. I miss not being able to sit down to dinner with him. Or having him here to say, “What’s for dinner, Ma?” I miss telling him to drive safe and be home by a certain time. I miss his, “Yeah, ok.” I miss him striking a Mr. Universe pose when I catch him wrapped in a towel fresh from the shower and raiding the fridge. I miss sitting watching baseball with him. I miss being able to hug him. I miss being able to tell him, “I love you, son” whenever the urge comes over me. I miss his smile. I really miss his laugh. Really miss that laugh...
If you have a child in your home, please call out right now, “I love you!” Better yet, get up and give each of them a hug. Give them one for me.
Copyright 2005. All rights reserved.
posted by Some Soldier's Mom @ 8:22 PM
7 Comments
7 Comments:
I know what you mean about that deeper missing. I think about my son all the time, wondering if he is ok, if he has had enough food, is he drinking enough water, etc...
I am excited, my son's picture is on the front page of the http://www.iraqwarnews.net/. I have called and awakened everyone up that I could. I scared my parents, as they were the first ones that I called, and I was crying, and could not hardly talk when my mom answered the phone. She thought something was wrong, I said no mom, just excited.
Hope you have a better day today.
I don't yet know what it's like to have a son deployed. I do know that my sister refused to stay at home alone when her son was in Iraq, for fear some military vehicle might park out front and some guys in Class A uniforms would come knock on her door. I didn't really understand that then, but I think I do now. My son is still at AIT, but when he goes on field training for a week and we can't talk, I get fidgety. It's the not knowing what's going on that's so nerve-racking. Hang in there Mom. No news is good news because bad news travels fast.
I can relate. This is tough. We will give each other the strength to make it through this. It helps knowing you are not alone. It's a mom thing.
Yever notice how many of your posters have the word "mom" in there user name? I guess we're all in this together.
My prayers are with you & your family. Stay strong. (You must be to have made it this far)
I come to read you weekly & I always cry.
May God bless you & yours.
Theresa
GA
I'm a Dad. My youngest son is heading to Marine boot camp in August. I'm sure I'll get to where you are.
Thanks for your touching stories. Even us cold stoic men need to feel the release that talking with others gives us.
Hang in there, or hang alone, huh?
Psalm 121.
Bob Perrow
I just wanted to let you know that your son is in my prayers. He always has been, except now hes not just a solider, he's your son.
I'm only 21 but I DO know how you feel. My 22 year old brother, my best friend, just returned from a year's tour in Iraq. Worst year of my life.
I found that you just have to stay strong for everyone else and it is okay to cry. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep. It's like you HAVE to watch the news, but you CANT watch the news and nothing else seems to matter.
It's been hard for my brother, Sgt. Sherman, to readjust back home, but you need faith. If not in God, then someone. something. anything....
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family always...
*Proud sister to a very brave soldier*
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