color: SOME SOLDIER'S MOM: Helplessness in the Face of Tragedy

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Helplessness in the Face of Tragedy

I originally posted this earlier this morning but took it down as I wanted to be sure that the families in Noah's unit had been notified and that sufficient time had elapsed for the families to contact extended family as I know many of them now read my blog... I would not want to be the source of any more pain for these families...

I felt it once before -- on a very personal basis -- when Noah was wounded. He was there... we were here and the feelings of helplessness were like no other. Completely powerless to do anything in the face of unspeakable fear and tragedy.


Noah called this morning in great despair and again I was overwhelmed with these feelings. Five soldiers in his unit were killed in an IED attack last night. Fox
news infers that they were Marines. They weren't. They are Army.

Noah and his friend Dave (who was wounded in the same attack as Noah and is just back at their U.S. base as well) called from the car on the way to the home of one of the hero NCOs to help his wife and the other wives of these fallen. Noah and Dave are not just consumed by grief, but by guilt. "I should have been there, Ma. I shoulda been there..."

Noah and Dave were just at Sgt. B's house on Thursday night with Mrs. B, their boys, and some of the wives of their comrades still deployed who were all there to comfort Mrs. B on the loss of her husband... They are already scheduled to attend the memorial services this week for two of their comrades... and now some of the wives who they joined in comfort this week may need comforting themselves... I tell Noah how sorry I am, I know how much he loved those Guys... I tell him that he could not have helped them and that his new mission is to be there -- where he is -- for his friends' families... that the Guys in Iraq must have felt some comfort knowing that Noah and Dave would be there for their families if anything happened... I hope these words are of some comfort to my son... but in my heart I know they are not...

I feel helplessness in not being able to comfort him in this time of great loss for him and his brothers and their wives, their children, their mothers, fathers, girlfriends, siblings... I can not begin to imagine the feelings of powerlessness that Noah, Dave and the others feel to be here and not there... I know there is nothing more I can say or do to make the pain any less for the families or for Noah or Dave or Capt. C., or the soldiers still fighting in Iraq...

I have heard from the mom of a tank driver in the same area who feels guilty because they drove the road just hours before and they didn't see the IED... they didn't capture any terrorists planting the IED... my son and Dave feel guilty because they think maybe if they had been there maybe they would have seen it -- stopped it... I feel guilty because I'm glad my son was not there knowing it could have been him in the driver's seat or in the gunner's place.

Another milblogger asked me, "What can I do?" I asked Noah the same question, "Is there anything we can do?" "No, Ma. There's nothing anyone can do right now." All we can do now is pray for the souls of these departed heros... Pray for strength for their families... Pray for the healing of the spirits of the comrades so helpless in this situation (those here and there)... And pray for the safety of our soldiers until they all come home. Please remember these heroes and their families in your prayers.

Copyright 2005. All rights reserved.

10 Comments:

At 10/16/2005 5:49 PM , Anonymous MissBirdlegs in AL said...

I'm so sorry and sad to hear this. I'd heard this on the news and as always lately was so afraid it would be someone I "know" from the blogs.

Will be praying for you all. God Bless.

Katy

 
At 10/16/2005 6:36 PM , Blogger Shelley said...

SSM---My guess is that your Noah has his Mama's heart and he will be a source of comfort for his fallen comrades families.

Be that as it may, my heart breaks for our sons and all that they have endured/are enduring at such young ages...and for the loved ones who suffer/struggle along with them. The casualties of war are far reaching. Did you ever in your wildest dreams think you and your son would be living/enduring these times? I didn't. God bless our soldiers.

My heart goes out once again to our fallen soldiers...may God bless them and their families.

And we pray....

 
At 10/16/2005 7:27 PM , Blogger StoicMom said...

This is so sad. It's bad enough to go to war and have to kill, but to be wounded and taken out of the action and survive while your friends are dying must be almost unbearable. It's hard enough to suffer the fear and sorrow these soldiers must go through daily. They shouldn't have to suffer the guilt.

"let us exult, too, in our hardships,understanding that hardship develops perseverance, and perseverance develops a tested character, something that gives us hope,and a hope which will not let us down, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts"
Romans 5:3-6

 
At 10/16/2005 8:25 PM , Blogger Melinda said...

I'm at a loss for words, which is unusual for me. I will say, though, that my heart, my prayers and my tears are with you, your son and all those grieving the losses yet again.

Please hug him hard for us.

 
At 10/16/2005 8:52 PM , Blogger Jen said...

I'm so sorry. That's all I can say right now.

Jen

 
At 10/17/2005 12:16 AM , Blogger Alaska Vet. said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Noah, and all those greiving tonight. Noah's brothers-in-arms are blessed to have someone as caring as him to help comfort their loved ones.

Brandon

 
At 10/17/2005 3:06 AM , Blogger Stacy said...

SSM, I too am at a loss for words. Ever since the two of us talked on the phone yesterday, my mind and heart have drawn to Noah and all the other guys in his unit.

I sure wish there was something that I could do to help them out, but Noah is so much like his Ma, so he will be strong and handle it.

Again, please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do.

 
At 10/17/2005 5:56 AM , Blogger Kat said...

All i can do is {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} i'm so sorry for this devestating loss... so, so sorry... {{{hugs}}}}

 
At 10/17/2005 2:45 PM , Blogger barb pfister said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this and I pray for you daily. I know Noah will get through this if he is anything like his mom. There really isn't anything that you can do other than to let him know you are there for whatever he needs, even if it is just a place to vent. My heart goes out to all of you and the families of these heroes.

Barb

 
At 10/17/2005 6:17 PM , Blogger Maggie45 said...

My heart aches for you all. I am praying.

 

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