6 Years... and a Heartbeat Ago

We will not forget. We will speak their names. We will tell their stories.

6 years.. and a heartbeat ago.

Rest in Peace.

You Can Be a Hero for Wounded Heroes

Just weeks before our son, Noah, was wounded in 2005, our much-loved friend Chuck Ziegenfuss was also wounded. From bad things, good things sometimes come. In this case, it is Project VALOUR-IT (Voice-Activated Laptops for OUR Injured Troops). This is the only fund raiser I participate in all year.

From Chuck Z:

In 2005, I was wounded. For some months, I was unable to use my hands. They were simply too badly damaged from the blast, and the surgeries to make them usable again left me unable to do anything for myself. 

Then came Soldiers Angels, who gave me a laptop, and paired it with special software that allowed me to control the computer, using only my voice! Imagine, being able to do anything you can do with a mouse and keyboard, using just your voice. For me, it allowed me to do one thing that I could do before I was wounded.

That one thing when everything --feeding, cleaning, scratching, everything -- had to be done for me... that one thing I could do for myself that allowed me to connect to my soldiers, friends, and family. That one thing... that one thing began a long road to recovery. It gave me hope that I could learn to do other things like I did before.

That one thing is only possible if people like you care enough to help. We have provided thousands of these systems since 2005, but the needs for these systems is still increasing. I visit military medical facilities and meet with wounded troops, and know that there are ways to help them... and right now, I have to tell them to wait because we need funding.

Should our wounded have to wait for something that can help them heal, take their mind off their pain, or bring them a little sense of self?

Please help us raise $100,000 between July 1-14 to keep us in the business of providing for our wounded. It seems like a lot of money, but every single dollar helps. Every dollar donated goes to the troops. None of the VALOUR-IT donation goes to administrative or other costs. You'd be hard pressed to find any charity that does that, but it was a stipulation I made when we set it up. That number seems huge, insurmountable. But you know how you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time. Give what you can, please. I know times are tough. Times were pretty tough for me, too, and are pretty tough for young men and women learning how to use prosthesis, getting skin grafts, having wounds washed out...

Donate if you can, please share the message with others. Get your friends to give what they can. Write about it on Facebook and twitter. Call in to a radio or TV show. Spread the word. Spread the love. Spread the hope.

Thank you.

This year DH and I are supporting Team Navy (it's just a friendly inter-service competition -- but ALL money goes to ALL wounded regardless of service branch!!)

For you with smart apps, here's the QR -- just scan and go!!

Please give what you can. EVERY dollar helps.  (and if you just can't bring yourself to give via TEAM NAVY, there are links to Teams Army, Marine Corps, Air Force on the page as well.

PS If you are still just THINKING about a donation, consider this: you just read this on a computer, using your hands... imagine how isolated you might be if you couldn’t.

Feel free to copy & paste this message to friends, families, co-workers... share the links... share the images. Good to go!

Between Two Worlds (Redux)

More than five years ago I wrote the following blog post... despite the fact that there is so little news from the front, there are still two theaters of operation... and good men and women are being deployed daily and leaving behind wives, children, parents, siblings and friends to wait. wait. wait. and worry. So it is worth reminding those who do not have loved one's in harm's way -- those who live in THIS world -- what that is like.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Between Two Worlds

[snip]

I have recently come to the conclusion that when you have someone deployed, you live in two worlds: "This" world and "THAT" world. In This World, everything goes on as normal. You go to work (for those that work), do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills...… You know -- all the things "normal" people do.

But we're not normal. We also live in THAT World -- the world where the telephone ringing in the middle of the night is normal 'cause it's morning over there. The world where news is everything and vague reports of improvised explosive devices can raise your heart rate 10 beats a minute and unconfirmed reports of soldiers' deaths can cause you to inhale involuntarily. The world that can fall apart in an instant when the caller ID says it's Fort _____ or there's a knock at the door and the chaplain is standing there.

In This World, holidays are a day off or a reason to shop. In THAT World, holidays are markers of time passing... merely milestones until homecoming. First we got through Valentine's Day,… then Easter (telling ourselves that they'll be home next Easter), then Memorial Day (oh how we'll celebrate next Memorial Day!), Independence Day (we'll have the best barbecue next 4th!), Labor Day, Columbus Day...… just marking time in THAT World... the World where you live between goodbyes and hellos until it's goodbyes again.

In This World, birthdays and anniversaries, the births of children, the marriages of friends and family are celebrated with a degree of sadness because your soldier is not here... your soldier is in harm's way. Can you ever truly celebrate in This World when your heart is mostly in THAT World? We do but only because we are forced to live in This and THAT World.

We live in This World where the ringing phone is just a ringing phone -- an annoyance, an interruption... but we are forced to also live in THAT World where we curse because the phone does not ring often enough or can bring unhappy news... where 21st century technology is a tether to That World but which we curse in blackout or busy times when we are plunged into unwanted silence.

In This World, shopping is a normal every day activity, but because we also live in ThHAT World, it is a lifeline to our soldier: shopping for the things they need...… the things they like..… the things that tie them to home -- to us...… tie them to This World and learning that soft toilet paper or their favorite brand of salsa may be more priceless than gold in THAT World.

In This World there are 24 hours in a day, but because we also live in THAT World, we live a parralel 24. As we progress through our days in This World, we are calculating the time in THAT World and conjuring up pictures of what our soldier is doing at that moment. When we eat we wonder if they had a hot meal today...… when we shower we wonder if they had hot water for a shower or whether it was a water bottle rinse off...… we wonder if the mail even got through today. In This World, "Where did the time go?" is a simple phrase. In THAT World, it is a blessing that the hour or day went quickly because in THAT World time passes excruciatingly slow --… especially those last few days until that plane touches down and the senior officer yells, "Dismissed!"

In This World, you are brave, tough, and supportive and you dare not admit to many that in That World you are also weary, frightened, worried sick, and lonesome for your soldier and sometimes you cry about it for him and for you.

In This World, you smile politely when someone asks about the yellow ribbon pin or the purple ... bracelet you wear... and you smile broadly when they ask you to thank your soldier for their service in That World.

In This World you wonder why people clap when David Letterman or Jay Leno say hurtful things about the War while your soldier fights nobly in THAT World for their right to say it. In This World you find that you talk back to the television a lot and that you stop watching or listening to Senators and Representatives and clueless celebrities who can't seem to put aside their partisanship long enough to see the effect some of their mindless statements have on those that live in THAT World and are fighting That war. In This World you wouldn't dream of challenging someone demanding that we cut and run, but because we also live in THAT World, we have no qualms about telling them that they don't know their butt from an indentation in the Earth's surface and thoughtfully answer all their rote mumblings about oil, lies, wealth, WMD -- and when they spout "We support the troops" -- we don't hesitate to ask them to prove it!

Before this deployment, I thought that once our son -- once Our Guys -- were home, I would return to living in just one world -- This World. However, now that the deployment is over, I have come to realize that a part of me will always live between the two worlds. That World is now an integral part of This World for me... as it is for many others.

In This World, your friends are those you know in your neighborhood and from the PTA or Lions Club meetings. For the families of those deployed, our friends in This World include everyone that understands all too well THAT World: friends that are serving, those that have served, the families of those that are deployed, have been deployed or are deploying and the people that really do support them... always ready with a helping hand, an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold in good times and bad. THAT World is a big world inhabited by a large family of which I am proud to be a member and for which I will forever be grateful.

Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.

5 Years. Really? 5 Years??

Five Years. Really? Five Years? A winding (bumpy and gnarly) road. Still moving forward -- even if it takes one step forward and two back. Love conquers all. Happy Alive Day, Son!! We love you.

(turn on the sound... ignore the chanting)

PS No good guys killed (just many Tangos). Two wounded. Both recovered.

SOME MARINES NEED SOME STUFF!!!

SOME WOUNDED MARINES NEED SOME STUFF. BOSTON MAGGIE SAYS SO (and I'd do what she says!!)

GO NOW AND READ... THEN SEND!!!

http://bostonmaggie.blogspot.com/2010/06/listen-up-i-want-something.html

Medal of Honor: Speak Out! Against Suicide

Medal of Honor: Speak Out!

As part of their commitment to serve their country, more than 30 of the 91 living Medal of Honor recipients have joined in a public service campaign designed to help stem the rising tide of suicides among military service members today.

These recipients, who have survived some of the most harrowing experiences in combat, including years as POWs, physical wounds and emotional trauma, felt compelled to speak out to America's military, share their experiences and encourage them to seek help for behavioral health issues that are often a result of deployment and combat. Their message is simple: Don't let the enemy defeat you at home!

In their own words, Medal of Honor recipients encourage America’s military by reminding them that seeking care is indeed a courageous act. One that shows they recognize the need to stay strong in mind and body.

Listen up, men & women!! Active duty, Guard, Reserve, Veterans.  Never give up! There is help... there is HOPE.

Need help? Need to find help??

http://www.militaryonesource.com/  1-800-342-9647

Veterans: http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/gethelp.asp

If you are in crisis, please call 911, go to your nearest Emergency Room, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273- 8255 Veterans press “1” after you call.

You can also go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline webpage to chat live with a crisis counselor at any time of day or night.

Soldiers Angels is Awesome and Doesn't Need Embellishment

Soldiers Angels is awesome and doesn't need embellishment. From my friend, MaryAnn - Soldiers' Angels Germany:

A word about the UK MailOnline story

How sad that the simple truths of a story can get lost in the retelling.

It was a story of how The Many pulled together and did everything in their power to meet The Needs of The One.

A story of how we as human beings take care of one another. A story of military medicine at it's finest. [snip]

Greyhawk has the real story, and tells it much better than I can.

We fight because it's the right thing to do; because all of humanity is our tribe.

God bless all who answer that call, and God bless those who care for them.

Be sure to read it all. MaryAnn is as selfless and as caring an individual anywhere on God's Earth, and our soldiers -- especially our wounded -- and thir families have no greater an ally and friend than she.

Update: I'm not the only one who thinks so highly of MaryAnn... READ Afghan Quest

Five Years of Lessons as a Soldier's Mom

My last blog post for PBS Point of View: Regarding War is up... I share some of the lessons I have learned as Some Soldier's Mom:

This month marks five years that I have blogged about the experience of being a soldier's mom. It has been five years since I stood at Fort Benning and tearfully (later hysterically) said farewell to my youngest son and his Army brothers ("my guys") as they left for Iraq. These five years have been a wild and horrific — and wonderful — ride. Today I share the most intense of the lessons I have learned.

1. Life really is frail. [snip]

2. There really are no words to comfort the mother or father or spouse or siblings of a soldier who has died.  [snip]

Read them all  at Conversations: Coming Home and add yours in the comments!

Vigilance: The Good Kind

Over at PBS - Point of View, I blog about the necessity of being vigilant in protecting the warrior legacy:

It is important for all of us — citizens who truly support the troops and who honor our veterans — to become active and remain engaged in protecting the warrior legacy. As we head into a new year, I implore everyone in the military, veterans, their families and the general public to learn about proposed and pending legislation and to be energetic in communicating their opinions to their Senators and Representatives. This is important not just at the federal level, but at the state levels as well. 

As state and federal legislators look to reduce spending or find funding for pet (read: pork) projects, military and veterans programs will be looked at as likely sources for cuts, because of their relative size to other budget commitments. Our watchfulness will be vitally important to the roughly 1.4 million personnel on active duty, the additional 900,000 members of the Reserve and National Guard and the 23.2 million military veterans in the United States.

Please go over and read all of it and bookmark some of the links to military and veterans organizations -- and to your legislators -- that are provided.

You should also take the time to read the contributions by the other bloggers at the PBS/Conversations - On Coming Home blog... and leave your comments!

The Tradition of THE TREE

I am telling the story of the tradition of some Christmas Trees with a very powerful message... over at PBS/Point of View - Regarding War.

In December 1966, a helicopter sat on the deck of an aircraft carrier off the coast of Vietnam with its crew of five on "stand by." These stand-by assignments were really "sit stills" — you had to be in the chopper and ready to fly a CAP (combat air patrol) at a moment's notice. Many times it was eight hours of sitting and waiting, and not flying.

The pilot of the helicopter was a 24-year old lieutenant fresh from the farm fields of Illinois via flight school in Pensacola. His crewmates, some younger, but none much older, sat and stared out at the pitch black trying to make out the shape of the Navy fueler that had pulled alongside earlier in the day, but which now melted into the blackness of the ocean at night. Occasionally, one of the crew would flip on a red-lensed flashlight to check the time. There was little radio traffic through the headsets and all conversations were conducted at a whisper given the EMCOM (emergency communications only) status — the wind rushing by the open side panel of the chopper the most persistent sound.

About midnight, a lone sailor approached and slid an armful of packages and letters across the floor. "Mail call," he whispered, turned and departed. Under the red glow of a flashlight, the parcels were divvied up to their recipients; the largest of the parcels was passed along to the pilot.

I hope you will stop by and read (it is a true story!!)

PTSD: A Different Perspective, Part II (A Parent's View)

I have the second part of my perspective (a PARENT'S perspective) up over at PBS: Regarding War/Conversations:

My blog, Some Soldier's Mom, followed my son through his deployment, his wounding, his evacuation and our journey to Germany, his return home, the memorial services and funerals attended for many of his friends, his efforts to handle his post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) himself and his subsequent acceptance of formal care for his invisible wounds. We — his parents, family and friends — were drawn into this nightmare by our love for our soldier; we have spent countless hours researching, learning, supporting and advocating.

Through all of this, we have tracked his progress — both the steps forward and the steps back. I have ranted, raved, blogged and asked the obvious questions about diagnosis, treatment and the stigma of PTSD. I have blogged many times about the changes in our son.

For those that truly have PTSD — that is, when the symptoms of post-traumatic stress (PTS) have become chronic — it is the bogeyman behind every door, hiding in every shadow; it is the invisible monster that has stolen the smiles and maybe even a part of these soldiers' souls. These young men and women fight every day trying to get that stolen piece back and to keep from losing more. It can be incredibly tough for those veterans and hard for their families.

The blog post contains some places to start if you are looking for information regarding PTSD in your loved one...

Veterans' Day 2009

I want to salute the veterans in my family...

My Dad L. (Army), my husband J. (Navy), my sister P. (Marines), son E. (Navy) and son N. (Army).

And saluting those still serving...

Son J. (Navy) and nephew Steve (Air Force).

From the oldest to the youngest, they have served in WWII, Vietnam, Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom.

Thank you all. You do us proud.

Watch "The Way We Get By" on PBS Tonight

Today is Veterans Day, the one day out of the year that is specifically designated as a time to honor those who serve our country. But Bill Knight, Jerry Mundy, Joan Gaudet and the rest of the Maine Troop Greeters honor veterans and military members throughout the year by greeting them at a tiny airport in Bangor, Maine. In fact, they've greeted over 900,000 soldiers to date! These senior citizens have take it upon themselves to greet every troop plane arriving or departing Bangor, which is the last and first piece of U.S. soil many GIs will see before and after their deployments.

The Way We Get By, which tells the stories of Bill, Jerry and Joan, airs tonight on PBS at 9 PM (Check your local listings).

In connection with the premier of "The Way We Get By", PBS online has relaunched its "POV - Regarding War" site and I will be contributing my thoughts and responding to readers' comments for the next next few months. The site's relaunch is an effort to bring a wider audience to the experience of military service -- especially on Coming Home -- as seen from the Point of View of a Vietnam War veteran, an Iraq War veteran, a military spouse, and a mom.

I hope you will tune in and see "The Way We Get By" and stop by the POV site and read and comment on the conversations there. People not only will have the opportunity to comment on the contributions on the "Conversations" area, but to share their own stories, as well.

We Remember

A Hero's Salute... and Ralph Peters Ft. Hood's 9/11

11/7/09: Updated below the legend with an opinion of Ralph Peters. Thank you, Ralph. A timely message!

A first responder to a lone gunman's attack at Fort Hood Nov. 5 renders honors at retreat after aiding his fellow soldiers. U.S. Army photo

Our hearts are heavy... Our prayers and thoughts are with our sons and daughters and their sons and daughters at Ft. Hood.

Be sure to read Greyhawk's initial reporting on those who were killed yesterday... and be sure to check back at Mudville Gazette often for updates.

11/7/09

New York Post

Fort Hood's 9/11

By RALPH PETERS

On Thursday afternoon, a radicalized Muslim US Army officer shouting "Allahu Akbar!" committed the worst act of terror on American soil since 9/11. And no one wants to call it an act of terror or associate it with Islam.

What cowards we are. Political correctness killed those patriotic Americans at Ft. Hood as surely as the Islamist gunman did. And the media treat it like a case of non-denominational shoplifting.

This was a terrorist act. When an extremist plans and executes a murderous plot against our unarmed soldiers to protest our efforts to counter Islamist fanatics, it’s an act of terror. Period.

When the terrorist posts anti-American hate-speech on the Web; apparently praises suicide bombers and uses his own name; loudly criticizes US policies; argues (as a psychiatrist, no less) with his military patients over the worth of their sacrifices; refuses, in the name of Islam, to be photographed with female colleagues; lists his nationality as "Palestinian" in a Muslim spouse-matching program, and parades around central Texas in a fundamentalist playsuit — well, it only seems fair to call this terrorist an "Islamist terrorist."

But the president won’t. Despite his promise to get to all the facts. Because there’s no such thing as "Islamist terrorism" in ObamaWorld.

And the Army won’t. Because its senior leaders are so sick with political correctness that pandering to America-haters is safer than calling terrorism "terrorism."

And the media won’t. Because they have more interest in the shooter than in our troops — despite their crocodile tears.

Maj. Nadal Malik Hasan planned this terrorist attack and executed it in cold blood. The resulting massacre was the first tragedy. The second was that he wasn’t killed on the spot.

Hasan survived. Now the rest of us will have to foot his massive medical bills. Activist lawyers will get involved, claiming "harassment" drove him temporarily insane. There’ll be no end of trial delays. At best, taxpayer dollars will fund his prison lifestyle for decades to come, since our politically correct Army leadership wouldn’t dare pursue or carry out the death penalty.

Maj. Hasan will be a hero to Islamist terrorists abroad and their sympathizers here. While US Muslim organizations decry his acts publicly, Hasan will be praised privately. And he’ll have the last laugh.

But Hasan isn’t the sole guilty party. The US Army’s unforgivable political correctness is also to blame for the casualties at Ft. Hood.

Given the myriad warning signs, it’s appalling that no action was taken against a man apparently known to praise suicide bombers and openly damn US policy. But no officer in his chain of command, either at Walter Reed Army Medical Center or at Ft. Hood, had the guts to take meaningful action against a dysfunctional soldier and an incompetent doctor.

Had Hasan been a Lutheran or a Methodist, he would’ve been gone with the simoon. But officers fear charges of discrimination when faced with misconduct among protected minorities.

Now 12 soldiers and a security guard lie dead. 31 soldiers were wounded, 28 of them seriously. If heads don’t roll in this maggot’s chain of command, the Army will have shamed itself beyond moral redemption.

There’s another important issue, too. How could the Army allow an obviously incompetent and dysfunctional psychiatrist to treat our troubled soldiers returning from war? An Islamist whacko is counseled for arguing with veterans who’ve been assigned to his care? And he’s not removed from duty? What planet does the Army live on?

For the first time since I joined the Army in 1976, I’m ashamed of its dereliction of duty. The chain of command protected a budding terrorist who was waving one red flag after another. Because it was safer for careers than doing something about him.

Get ready for the apologias. We’ve already heard from the terrorist’s family that "he’s a good American." In their world, maybe he is.

But when do we, the American public, knock off the PC nonsense?

A disgruntled Muslim soldier murdered his officers way back in 2003, in Kuwait, on the eve of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Recently? An American mullah shoots it out with the feds in Detroit. A Muslim fanatic attacks an Arkansas recruiting station. A Muslim media owner, after playing the peace card, beheads his wife. A Muslim father runs over his daughter because she’s becoming too Westernized.

Muslim terrorist wannabes are busted again and again. And we’re assured that "Islam’s a religion of peace."

I guarantee you that the Obama administration’s non-response to the Ft. Hood attack will mock the memory of our dead.

Ralph Peters’ latest novel is "The War After Armageddon."

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/fort_hood_xjP9yGrJN7gl7zdsJ31vnJ#ixzz0WCPg3GPk

George, Laura Bush visit wounded Hood soldiers

The Associated Press
Posted : Saturday Nov 7, 2009 10:05:55 EST

FORT HOOD, Texas — Former President George W. Bush and his wife, Laura, visited wounded soldiers and their families near the site of the worst mass shooting on an Army post in the United States.

The Bushes made their private visit to Fort Hood’s Darnall Army Medical Center on Friday night. Bush spokesman David Sherzer said in an e-mail that the couple thanked Fort Hood’s military leaders and hospital staff for the “amazing care they are providing.”

AND WHERE IS OUR ESTEEMED PRESIDENT???

2:45PM THE PRESIDENT and THE FIRST LADY depart The White House en route Camp David - South Lawn

Valour-IT Fundraiser

PROJECT VALOUR-IT.

Please donate to this worthwhile cause of providing laptop computers to wounded military...

Project Valour-IT helps provide voice-controlled/adaptive laptop computers and other technology to support Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand wounds and other severe injuries. Items supplied include:

Voice-controlled Laptops - Operated by speaking into a microphone or using other adaptive technologies, they allow the wounded to maintain connections with the rest of the world during recovery.

Wii Video Game Systems - Whole-body game systems increase motivation and speed recovery when used under the guidance of physical therapists in therapy sessions (donated only to medical facilities).

Personal GPS - Handheld GPS devices build self-confidence and independence by compensating for short-term memory loss and organizational challenges related to severe TBI and severe PTSD.

Please give what you can... even $5 goes a long way to get us to our goals.

Military bloggers and friends have a friendly inter-service competition to raise money for this noble cause each year) but if you want to contribute for some other service, find your preferred service:

Team Leaders:
Air Force - MudvilleGazette (http://www.mudvillegazette.com/)

Army - Blackfive (http://www.blackfive.net/ )
Marines - Villainous Company (http://www.villainouscompany.com/vcblog)

(but if you want to be part of the winning team, give NAVY!!)

Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay

Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay

What is it?

Soldiers, veterans and survivors of those whose service was involuntarily extended under Stop Loss between September 11, 2001 and September 30, 2008 can apply to receive $500 for every month, or portion of a month, they served under Stop Loss. The 2009 War Supplemental Appropriations Act established and largely funded the payment for all military services, but dictated that each service process and pay their own applicants. The Army estimates that 136,000 of the approximately 174,000 eligible servicemembers served in the Army.

What has the Army done?

The Army has created an application process for active-and-reserve component Soldiers, veterans, and survivors of Soldiers to process claims for Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay. By law, the Army can only accept claims between October 21, 2009 and October 21, 2010. Eligible candidates must submit their request within this timeframe, or the Army will not be able to process their request. The Army has set up an email address to field questions people have regarding the benefit.

How can people apply?

Candidates for Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay must submit a claim at Retroactive Stop Loss Web site . This Web site is the preferred method for submitting applications; however, other means for doing so, such as by mail or fax, will be available to those without access to computers. Additional communications will provide instructions for alternative forms of submission. During the application process, candidates will be asked to show documentation that indicates the time they served under Stop Loss. The necessary documentation, depending on their type of service, includes the following:

● Enlisted Soldiers need to present their DD Form 214 and DD Form 4 Enlistment/Reenlistment/Extension contract(s).

● Enlisted Soldiers who were in an indefinite status need a memorandum showing retirement/separation request was denied or an approved retirement/ separation was amended.

● Officers need a DD Form 214 and memorandum showing Retirement/ Separation request was denied or an approved retirement/separation was amended.

● National Guard Soldiers need to show DA Form 4187 for Stop Loss adjustment of ETS, separation documentation NGB Form 22, and/or NGB Form 1966.


What continued efforts does the Army have planned for the future?

The Army will review, process and pay qualified candidates as they submit their applications at Retroactive Stop Loss Web site. Candidates who meet the criteria and show the required documentation will receive their retroactive payment in a one lump sum. The Army will not accept applications submitted after October 21, 2010.

Resources: Retroactive Stop Loss Web site

Cruelty Without Excuse

You can start at Blackfive and The Mudville Gazette for a roundup and background info.

Every parent has the same nightmare. The specifics of the nightmare may vary, but the heart pounding message is the same: your child is somewhere and he (or she) is injured... they are in pain. They cry out for you. But you are not there. You cannot get there. You cannot help them. You cannot be there to hold them... help them... comfort them. It.is.every.parent's.nightmare.

I have lived through a deployment... and I know that parents worry 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't care how old that child is. It matters not how many times they have deployed. It doesn't matter that they may have children themselves. You worry. You always worry.

I have said many times that it is hard to be a soldier's mom. Or a Marine's.

I have received that phone call telling me that my son had been wounded. I have lived through a night of waiting for headlights to appear in my driveway... to see two soldiers standing at my door. I have lived through a night of begging and bartering with God to please let my son live. We found some comfort that night by telling ourselves that our wounded son was not alone, but was with people who would be there with him and for him... who would ease his pain and comfort him. I comforted myself with images of my son being tended to and cared for by people who cared whether he lived or died. Not once did I try to picture what his wounds might look like.

I have also written about iconic images and how a journalist/photojournalist can select images to convey their own private opinion... and I offered alternate images to illustrate.

So now we see that some uninformed, disrespectful ________ who calls herself a journalist was taking pictures while embedded with a U.S. Marine unit in Afghanistan snapping away during an attack and who continued photographing while a young Marine died. That Marine was Lance Corporal Joshua M. Bernard. But the DISGRACE is that the AP opted to publish photos of LCpl Bernard as well as noting the gruesome details of his death that left no doubt in the minds of those who care that he was suffering and in pain as he died on a road far from his family. Far from the parents who not only dreamed the nightmare but who now, thanks to these photos, must live with the proof. There is no comforting them. There will be no telling his mother the lie that we mothers would so willingly accept as truth -- that he died instantly and felt no pain.

I know that no matter how hard we try, we all go to the "dark place" on occasion when our soldiers (Marines, Airmen, Sailors) are deployed. But I guarantee you that we never imagine our loved ones as that photo depicts. Publishing the photo intensified the family's pain and grief. The death of a child weighs on parents heavily as being unnatural in the order of things and Mz Jacobson and the AP have made that weight heavier and even harder to bear.

Adding insult to this injury, Julie Jacobson justifies the taking (and I presume the publication) of the photos with the lame-ass, self-serving,

To ignore a moment like that simply ... would have been wrong. I was recording his impending death, just as I had recorded his life moments before walking the point in the bazaar. Death is a part of life and most certainly a part of war. Isn't that why we're here? To document for now and for history the events of this war?

to which I will repeat what I once blogged to the editor of the NYT,

I resent your thinking that we’re stupid enough to believe your little horseshit speeches about “I did it for you.”

To Mz Jacobson and to those at the AP I say: no parent should ever be subjected to the cruelty of that photo. That may not have been your intent, but that was the effect. Especially after the family specifically asked that you not publish the photo of their mortally wounded son. You have assured that the family of this honorable Marine will forever have the gruesome image you presented to them burned in their hearts and their minds.

Isn't it bad enough that this young man is dead? Wasn't it enough that those parents had to answer the door? And not only is LCpl Bernard subject to contempt and ridicule by some in the world (just one such incident would be more than he deserved), his death is being used by you to undermine the very thing for which he died... for something in which he believed!! Who the hell are you to decide that this one death -- the death of this mother's precious and beloved son -- should be the image you choose to promote your message... to represent what YOU believe represents the war?? Need I ask the last time you photographed and printed the photos of the women and children whom the Taliban have slain??

I wish I had not been so prescient back when the despicable excuse for a Secretary of Defense proposed lifting the ban on photographing the caskets of our war dead, when I said,

To those who say they wish these photos so that the "public" can show their respect for the dead, I say, if it takes photos of flag-draped caskets to inspire someone to mourn our war dead, “respecting” the dead is not their intention.

and

Is there some monetary or political profit to be made on the dead? Yes, I see.

To Mz Jacobson and the AP: your publication of these photos under these circumstances had absolutely nothing whatever to do with showing the world that death is a part of war; it was politically and financially motivated. And your thoughtless, insensitive actions intensified the grief of LCpl Bernard's family. You didn't submit the photo to honor him or to record his bravery for posterity. You didn't do it for him or his family. You did it for you.

And frankly, if Mz Jacobson really wanted to showcase the horror of war, perhaps she should volunteer to stand in front and die to make the point, and have HER death photo published for HER parents and family to pour over. I'm sure I can find a shitload of volunteers willing to help her in her endeavor. I'm sure the AP would oblige with the publication.

New Leave Rule to Provide Warrior Care

from the American Forces Press Service via Military.com

New Leave Rule to Provide Warrior Care
August 27, 2009
American Forces Press Service|by Donna Miles

Defense Department federal employees could receive up to 26 weeks of unpaid leave to care for a military family member injured in the line of duty if an Office of Personnel Management proposal is adopted.

The proposal would allow eligible federal employees to take 26 "administrative work weeks" provided for under the Family and Medical Leave Act to care for a servicemember wounded in the line of duty, OPM officials explained during a telephone conference call.

The provision would extend to families of National Guard members or reservists injured while on active duty, explained Jerry Mikowicz, the OPM deputy associate director for pay and leave administration.

To qualify, the federal employee must be the spouse, child, parent, or next of kin of the servicemember declared medically unfit to serve, he said.

The OPM proposal also would allow agencies to advance up to 30 days of sick leave to federal workers who care for wounded military family members.



The OPM proposals were published in the Federal Register Aug. 26, and the public will have 60 days to comment on them.

OPM officials will review the comments before issuing a final rule, which will proceed through the regulatory process required before it is implemented, Mr. Mikowicz said.

© Copyright 2009 American Forces Press Service. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. [my emphasis]
[Note to the AFPS: what's the point of issuing these stories if you don't want the information REDISTRIBUTED... you know, so that PEOPLE CAN BE INFORMED???]

HELP OUR HEROES

Independence Day having just passed and people (hopefully) have been reminded of all the good things a Free America provides... so I thought it appropriate to remind people (although probably preaching to the choir) that THERE ARE THOSE STILL ACTIVELY FIGHTING on our behalf... as well as those who have fought and paid a heavy price... some of these Warriors could use a little help. So below is my "Help Our Heroes" list...

the newest addition to that list is a new and worthwhile NON-PARTISAN organization to advocate on behalf of veterans of ALL wars and all peace time service as well as for those who still serve -- the WARRIOR LEGACY FOUNDATION. For information on the necessity and mission of WLF, read Blackfive's post HERE. You need not be a veteran to join -- just someone who wishes to honor those who serve and those that have served. Membership is free, although donations are welcome.

HELP OUR HEROES

Adopt a Sniper

Adopt a Soldier

Any Soldier

Disabled American Veterans

Fisher House

Foster Care for Military Pets

Helmets to Hardhats

Homes for Our Troops

Soldiers' Angels (especially Project VALOur-IT !!)

USO

WARRIOR LEGACY FOUNDATION


Wounded Warrior Project